The Prodigal "Daughter" Returns
" Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living." -Luke 15:13
Many people are familiar with the well-known parable that Jesus shared about the prodigal son. For those of you who aren't familiar with the story, it is about a man who has two sons. The younger sons asks for his inheritance early and proceeds to set off on a journey to a distant land, where he begins to waste his fortune by indulging in wasteful living. When his money runs out, a severe famine happens to hit the country and the son finds himself in a difficult situation. He then takes on a job feeding pigs, and even goes as far as longing to eat the food given to the pigs because of his poverty. After awhile, the son finally comes to his senses and thinks of his father. He recognized his foolishness and decides to return home, asking his father for forgiveness. The father's response was not rage or disappointment, but immense joy. He had been watching and waiting for the return of his son, so at the sight of the young man, the father received him back with open arms of compassion and called for a feast in celebration.
Why am I bringing up this parable? I see myself as a lost child returning to Christ after a long, long time. Even though I was born into a Christian family, I don't think I fully understood the meaning of being saved. Sure, I went to several retreats where I connected with God and had time to reflect on my faith, but it was always the same when I returned. I slipped back into reality where temptations and materialistic idols distracted me and led me further and further away from the Lord. One of my lowest points was in senior year of high school. The fall semester was all about applying to colleges. I wasn't particularly worried because I was overconfident. In the top 5% of my school, a varsity swimmer, a state UIL violinist, president and officer of several clubs, I thought that my resume looked commendable. Furthermore, I was proud that I was also an international baccalaureate candidate, an AP scholar, and a student with an award winning art portfolio. After applying to many Ivy's and top universities, never in my lifetime had I imagined that I would be rejected from all but 3: my back-ups.
Why had this happened? During this stressful period, I prayed and prayed to God. I prayed that I would be accepted into one of the schools of my choice so that I could make my parents proud. After all, they were the ones who sacrificed everything so that I could receive a quality education and a bright future. As a child, they made me attend weekend school, volunteer, and take classes over the summer. I did not understand why my parents took all the fun away from my childhood, but the answer is blatantly obvious now. They loved me and wanted me to live a life without struggles in the future. How could I disappoint my parents like this? For those several months in my senior year, I cried and questioned God angrily. Never had I slipped into sin by drinking, smoking, or indulging into temptations of the flesh, and in addition, I prayed every single day for the Lord to grant my wishes. Unfortunately, all I received were rejection letters after rejection letters. Call me dramatic, but as a teenager that gave her all into making sure that I would get accepted into an exemplary college, all those dismissals led me into a downward spiral. My grades slipped and my faith wavered. There was a point where I sunk into depression and had dangerous thoughts because the disappointment was so great. Surely God had abandoned me and left me in ruins. Little did I know that the Lord had plan greater than I had imagined.
One of my acceptances was into a 7 year BS/MD program at a university that I would never have applied to, had it not been for this program. After much reflection, I now realize that God set me upon this path for a reason. My dream is to become a physician so that I could help and care for the sick. The Lord fully understood the extent of my capabilities, so He knew that I was best suited for this school. Never should I have doubted God's plan for me. What I want and what he has in store do not always coincide, but what I learned from this ordeal is that I must always place my trust in Christ. As the Bible says...
" Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." - Proverbs 3:5-6
Furthermore...
"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." - Proverbs 16:9
By now, I should have learned my lesson right? Shamefully, I cannot give you an affirmative answer. 2 years have passed since, and I experienced more and more obstacles-- trials that have led to additional suffering. Sometimes, I dislike myself greatly for lapsing into a life of sin again. If there was a yearbook superlative for me, I can already see what it would be: The unworthy sinner. This time, however, I dealt with tribulations in a different way from before. I abandoned everything and turned to God.
The last few weeks of December until now, I have become a changed person. The break gave me time to reflect on my life and the errors in my actions. Like the prodigal son, I went out into the real world (college) and indulged in wasteful ways (neglecting my studies and partying). In those times, which I will soon elaborate in another blog post, I did not go to Church or give my heart to God. In a way, I forgot Him like the son had forgotten about his father. Currently, or rather in a few days, I am about to face the biggest obstacle I will ever face in my life. In the midst of all my worry, anxiety, and pain, I realized that I had no one to turn to but God. He is always with me no matter how much I sin or how much I turn away from Him. That who the Heavenly Father is. The Lord waits patiently with loving compassion to restore us when we return to him with humble hearts. God offers us everything and joyfully celebrates when those who stray come back.
In the midst of my transformation, I thought about this parable. Even when we act selfishly, God indulges us. We might misuse our freedom, but God trusts that we will learn our lesson and come back to Him. The outside world is harsh and uncaring, but God? The Lord is unchanging, loving, and forgiving. This is how I learned to let go of everything and restore/strengthen my faith. God is almighty, God is my life. When I devoted myself solely to him for the past few days, the grief and misery disappeared. Of course, my heart is still heavy and I am scared for the outcome of my actions, but my faith is in the Lord. Whatever happens, happens, and I will not blame God for anything. My life is in his hands, and I trust that He will guide me in the right direction when the time comes. It is important to know that success is temporary, but God's love is unconditional and everlasting. I am just so happy that I found my way back to my Father again.
We do not live perfect lives and God understands this. I pray that all the prodigal sons out there who have forsaken Him will return, faith restored. We might not understand many negative things that happen in our lives, but just know the Lord is always by your side. God will pick you up, take your hand, and guide you along the path that he has drawn out for you. With this new found relationship that I have formed with God, I pray that I will not stray from Him again. The Lord is my everything and I have given my whole heart to Him. I have been saved. This blog, which I have neglected for quite awhile, is that start of my new journey with Christ.
Why am I bringing up this parable? I see myself as a lost child returning to Christ after a long, long time. Even though I was born into a Christian family, I don't think I fully understood the meaning of being saved. Sure, I went to several retreats where I connected with God and had time to reflect on my faith, but it was always the same when I returned. I slipped back into reality where temptations and materialistic idols distracted me and led me further and further away from the Lord. One of my lowest points was in senior year of high school. The fall semester was all about applying to colleges. I wasn't particularly worried because I was overconfident. In the top 5% of my school, a varsity swimmer, a state UIL violinist, president and officer of several clubs, I thought that my resume looked commendable. Furthermore, I was proud that I was also an international baccalaureate candidate, an AP scholar, and a student with an award winning art portfolio. After applying to many Ivy's and top universities, never in my lifetime had I imagined that I would be rejected from all but 3: my back-ups.
Why had this happened? During this stressful period, I prayed and prayed to God. I prayed that I would be accepted into one of the schools of my choice so that I could make my parents proud. After all, they were the ones who sacrificed everything so that I could receive a quality education and a bright future. As a child, they made me attend weekend school, volunteer, and take classes over the summer. I did not understand why my parents took all the fun away from my childhood, but the answer is blatantly obvious now. They loved me and wanted me to live a life without struggles in the future. How could I disappoint my parents like this? For those several months in my senior year, I cried and questioned God angrily. Never had I slipped into sin by drinking, smoking, or indulging into temptations of the flesh, and in addition, I prayed every single day for the Lord to grant my wishes. Unfortunately, all I received were rejection letters after rejection letters. Call me dramatic, but as a teenager that gave her all into making sure that I would get accepted into an exemplary college, all those dismissals led me into a downward spiral. My grades slipped and my faith wavered. There was a point where I sunk into depression and had dangerous thoughts because the disappointment was so great. Surely God had abandoned me and left me in ruins. Little did I know that the Lord had plan greater than I had imagined.
One of my acceptances was into a 7 year BS/MD program at a university that I would never have applied to, had it not been for this program. After much reflection, I now realize that God set me upon this path for a reason. My dream is to become a physician so that I could help and care for the sick. The Lord fully understood the extent of my capabilities, so He knew that I was best suited for this school. Never should I have doubted God's plan for me. What I want and what he has in store do not always coincide, but what I learned from this ordeal is that I must always place my trust in Christ. As the Bible says...
" Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." - Proverbs 3:5-6
Furthermore...
"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." - Proverbs 16:9
By now, I should have learned my lesson right? Shamefully, I cannot give you an affirmative answer. 2 years have passed since, and I experienced more and more obstacles-- trials that have led to additional suffering. Sometimes, I dislike myself greatly for lapsing into a life of sin again. If there was a yearbook superlative for me, I can already see what it would be: The unworthy sinner. This time, however, I dealt with tribulations in a different way from before. I abandoned everything and turned to God.
The last few weeks of December until now, I have become a changed person. The break gave me time to reflect on my life and the errors in my actions. Like the prodigal son, I went out into the real world (college) and indulged in wasteful ways (neglecting my studies and partying). In those times, which I will soon elaborate in another blog post, I did not go to Church or give my heart to God. In a way, I forgot Him like the son had forgotten about his father. Currently, or rather in a few days, I am about to face the biggest obstacle I will ever face in my life. In the midst of all my worry, anxiety, and pain, I realized that I had no one to turn to but God. He is always with me no matter how much I sin or how much I turn away from Him. That who the Heavenly Father is. The Lord waits patiently with loving compassion to restore us when we return to him with humble hearts. God offers us everything and joyfully celebrates when those who stray come back.
In the midst of my transformation, I thought about this parable. Even when we act selfishly, God indulges us. We might misuse our freedom, but God trusts that we will learn our lesson and come back to Him. The outside world is harsh and uncaring, but God? The Lord is unchanging, loving, and forgiving. This is how I learned to let go of everything and restore/strengthen my faith. God is almighty, God is my life. When I devoted myself solely to him for the past few days, the grief and misery disappeared. Of course, my heart is still heavy and I am scared for the outcome of my actions, but my faith is in the Lord. Whatever happens, happens, and I will not blame God for anything. My life is in his hands, and I trust that He will guide me in the right direction when the time comes. It is important to know that success is temporary, but God's love is unconditional and everlasting. I am just so happy that I found my way back to my Father again.
We do not live perfect lives and God understands this. I pray that all the prodigal sons out there who have forsaken Him will return, faith restored. We might not understand many negative things that happen in our lives, but just know the Lord is always by your side. God will pick you up, take your hand, and guide you along the path that he has drawn out for you. With this new found relationship that I have formed with God, I pray that I will not stray from Him again. The Lord is my everything and I have given my whole heart to Him. I have been saved. This blog, which I have neglected for quite awhile, is that start of my new journey with Christ.
- Milo
I completely relate. I'm in college too and there are so many distractions, even beyond just the partying. So many ways to start feeling down and out and forgetting God and all that he's done and can do. I know I've had to come home a lot of times too. It's unfathomable sometimes how patient he is with us, truly it is.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for reading my post, Jade! The real world is harsh that way, but I'm just glad we can all turn to God (:
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